The Quest #231: 🫥 The “One-Size-Fits-All” Trap

Ever left a live session thinking, “That just didn’t land”—but couldn’t quite put your finger on why?

Here’s one sneaky reason that often flies under the radar:

Most sessions are designed for one type of participant. As if everyone has the same energy level, comfort zone, learning style, or Zoom stamina.

And the result? A one-size-fits-all experience that fits… no one particularly well.

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From yoga mats to Zoom rooms

Just this morning I joined a yoga class with an incredible instructor named Ryan.

He led us through 90 minutes of pretty strenuous yoga with perfect flow.

Now 90 minutes is about three times my usual threshold. With any other instructor, I’d have slipped out the back at the 40-minute mark.

But with Ryan I made it through the whole class.

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His secret? From the start, he gave us options 👇

• Hands on blocks, fingertips, or palms flat
• Knee on the ground or lifted in lunge
• Walk or hop to the front of the mat

And he kept saying, “Pay attention to your own body. Choose what’s right for you.”

It wasn’t just about comfort. It was about agency—and avoiding injury.

But it totally changed my experience. (Yes, I picked the easy option most of the time 😄)

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The same principle applies to your live online sessions

In every Zoom room, you’ve got:

• People who’ve been on screens all day… and folks who just woke up
• Extroverts who love to speak… and introverts who’d rather write
• Those who are fully present… and others struggling to focus

If you give everyone the same ask at the same time with the same format… you’ll lose people.

Not because they don’t care—but because it just didn’t fit.

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Avoiding the one-size-fits-all trap

Most facilitators don’t mean to design one-size-fits-all sessions. It just happens.

Why?

• It’s faster to plan one option.
• It’s easier to manage fewer variables.
• And often… we don’t even realize we’re doing it.

If you haven’t thought much about this before, you’re not alone—I’ve fallen into the trap too.

The problem is that when you miss the mark on this, you rarely get feedback. People don’t say, “Hey, I needed a quieter way to contribute.” They just… disappear. 🫥

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The fix? Start building in options

Because when you give people choices, you meet them where they are—and that’s where engagement lives.

• 🧠 Autonomy boosts motivation and attention
• 💬 People feel seen when their preferences are acknowledged
• 🔁 You reduce resistance and increase buy-in

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What kind of options can you offer?

Giving people options doesn’t have to be complicated.

Here are 10 simple ways to give participants choice—without breaking your flow:

1/ ⏰ Arrival options​
Join a few minutes early for a casual “unofficial start” or come right at the top of the hour.

2/ 🎥 Cameras on or off (at different moments)​
Normalize switching it up instead of enforcing one rule.

3/ 💬 Chat or voice​
Invite verbal contributions or chat responses—both are valuable.

4/ 🚪 Breakout choice​
Let people choose a breakout room topic—or offer opt-outs.

5/ ✍️ Prep before breakout​
Give time to jot notes before small group sharing.

6/ 🧘‍♂️ Movement-friendly moments​
“Feel free to stretch or stand”—tiny cues that show care.

7/ ☕ Break formats​
Offer a solo reflection or guided group break.

8/ 🎨 Reflection styles​
Write, speak, sketch, or just think—what feels right for them?

9/ 🐢 Participation pace​
Give people an option to pass and come back.

10/ 📣 Wrap-up choices​
Share takeaways in chat, aloud, or via a poll.

Remember…

It’s not about flooding people with choices. It’s about offering a few thoughtful options that make your sessions feel more human, more flexible—and way more engaging.

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Over to you 🎤

What’s one option you could build into your next session? Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to hear!

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This week’s Facilitator Finds 💪

In this section, you’ll find curated events, resources, tips, and tools that I’ve found super valuable — and I think you will too!

💡6 Tips for Better Lesson Planning. A brilliant “crash course” in learning design from Troubleshooting for Trainers author and expert Sophie Oberstein.

📆 IAF Americas Conference April 30-May 2, 2023. Hosted by the International Association of Facilitators in Monterrey, Mexico, this year’s theme is Facilitating on the Edge. A great chance to connect, learn, and get inspired by top facilitators from around the world. More info here.

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Creatively yours,

Whenever you are ready there are 2 more ways I can help you:

👉Custom coaching & team training. Book a free 15-minute zero-commitment call with me to see how I can support you and your team.

👉 Live Session Design Video Course. Live Session Magic gives you a proven system for designing consistently high-quality online sessions. Join the interest list here and be the first to get access.

👉5-week Live Online Course. The Breakthrough Facilitation course gives you tools, personalized feedback, and a proven framework for designing and leading high-engagement live sessions. Join the interest list and be the first to get the next cohort dates and discounts.