Quick update before we dive in this week…
I’ve been heads-down creating something new for you—and it’s almost ready to share. 😅 ✨ Spoiler alert: the idea is to give you a quick picture of your online engagement skills—and personalized tips for leveling up. I can’t wait to show you. Stay tuned! 👀
A reader wrote to me recently:
“I rely a lot on body language and energy during in-person sessions, and that’s hard to connect to online.”
And she’s right.
Most people try to read the virtual room. And that right there is the problem.
In person, you’ve got all kinds of non-verbal cues.
You feel the room.
You notice when someone’s leaning in, nodding, or quietly checking their watch.
Whether you realize it or not, you’re constantly scanning body language to build rapport and make decisions.
But online? Those cues vanish.
Eye contact is impossible.
If cameras are off, there’s nothing to scan.
And when cameras are on? You’re often met with what facilitator Cam Houser calls: Zoom Zombie Face. 😵💫
It’s that glazed-over, expressionless stare that comes from staring at a screen too long.
It might mean they’re deep in thought… or mentally re-ordering groceries. 🤷♀️
Without those signals, it’s easy to spiral:
“Are they into this?”
“Did that make sense?”
“Am I totally bombing?”
If you’ve felt that way, you’re not alone.
Trying to read the virtual room like it’s an in-person one is one of the hardest parts of online facilitation.
Here’s the truth:
🧠 Non-verbal cues make up 60–80% of communication.
And they’re mostly missing online.
The good news?
You don’t need to be a mind reader.
✨ You just need to check in often ✨
👆That right there is the shift.
Stop guessing. Start asking.
Because when you build in regular check-ins:
✅ People feel seen and heard
✅ You get real-time feedback
✅ Sessions feel connected, responsive, and alive
Here are 5 simple ways to check in during your live sessions:
💬 1. Activate the chat
The chat is your virtual radar. Use it early and often.
✔ Prompt responses with light questions
✔ Narrate what you see—so participants feel heard
✔ Ask a co-host or volunteer to help monitor it
🎥 2. Invite cameras on
Set this expectation in your pre-session email and at the start.
✔ Explain the why—“I use visual cues to guide the flow”
✔ Offer options—use chat or audio if cameras aren’t possible
✔ Use gallery view to scan the room while facilitating
📻 3. Take the emotional temperature
At the start, or when energy dips, don’t push through—pause and check in.
✔ Ask: “Drop an emoji in the chat—how are you feeling?”
✔ Use a 1–10 energy scale or two-word check-in
✔ Acknowledge and adapt based on what you hear
👍 4. Use reactions
Reactions and emojis are your new body language.
✔ Make sure everyone knows where to find them
✔ Ask: “Thumbs up if that made sense,” or “Mind-blown if that was new”
✔ Use polls as pulse checks—quick and anonymous
🤔 5. When in doubt, check it out
I learned this mantra years ago from facilitator Stef Turner and it’s gold.
✔ If it’s quiet, say: “Let’s check in—any thoughts, questions, or confusion?”
✔ Don’t wait till the end. Ask during and after key moments.
✔ Post-session feedback helps you iterate and improve
When to Check In (And What It Looks Like)
Don’t wait until the end. Here are prime moments to pause:
🔁 After new content:
“What’s one word that describes how that landed?” (Chat)
🛠️ Before breakouts:
“What’s your biggest question before we dive in?”
🧭 Mid-session:
“Quick check—keep going, go deeper, or switch gears?”
🎯 After an activity:
“What stood out for you? What might you apply?”
These micro check-ins may seem small—but they change everything.
They signal:
👋 “I see you. I’m listening.”
Over to you 🎤
What small tweak could you make to your next session—to get feedback and input in real time?
Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to hear what you’ll try.
This week’s Facilitator Finds 💪
✨Tactics to boost participants’ energy. Medhi En-Naizi shares 9 powerful tactics to raise energy in your sessions. Beautifully illustrated and super actionable.
🌍Ways of Gathering. A fascinating cross-cultural take on how people gather, from Manal Sayid. It expanded my understanding of connection and group dynamics.
📆 Connectors Summit 2025, Dec 10-13. Join Priya Parker, Chad Littlefield, and an all-star lineup (including me!) for the virtual facilitation event of the year. Get $200 off with code COLLABORATE2025.
💌 Thanks for reading The Quest
I always love hearing your feedback and suggestions. Just hit reply to share your thoughts and ideas.
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Creatively yours,
Whenever you are ready there are 2 more ways I can help you:
👉Custom coaching & team training. Book a free 15-minute zero-commitment call with me to see how I can support you and your team.
👉 Live Session Design Video Course. Live Session Magic gives you a proven system for designing consistently high-quality online sessions. Join the interest list here and be the first to get access.
👉5-week Live Online Course. The Breakthrough Facilitation course gives you tools, personalized feedback, and a proven framework for designing and leading high-engagement live sessions. Join the interest list and be the first to get the next cohort dates and discounts.
