What’s the #1 skill most facilitators are struggling with right now?
✨Interaction✨
That’s not just a hunch.
Over the past few months, 223 facilitators, coaches, and trainers have taken the Online Engagement Scorecard.
And the lowest scoring area across the board?
You guessed it: interaction.
If that includes you—you’re not alone.
Most online session leaders I work with say:
- “I don’t know what’s landing.”
- “I ask questions but get silence…”
- “People are on Zoom, but they aren’t really engaging.”
Today I’m excited to share one of the simplest ways to boost interaction that’s totally underused.
I call it Ask, Then Tell.
Let’s break it down 👇
A few months ago, I joined The Coaching Habit Live webinar with expert coach and author Michael Bungay Stanier (MBS).
Over 1,000 of us showed up, ready to soak in his best coaching tips.
I expected to sit back, listen, and take notes.
But before he shared a single tip, MBS flipped the script.
He asked:
“On a scale from 1–7, how would you rate your fierceness as a coach?”
The chat lit up.
He read responses out loud, reflected on what he saw, then followed up with:
“What are your best tactics for becoming more fierce?”
Another cascade of comments.
He thanked people. Highlighted a few gems. Then seamlessly segued into his first coaching insight.
That’s “Ask, Then Tell” in action.
It’s where you survey your audience first. And then you share your content making it relevant to your group.
Here’s why it works:
1/ 🤝It builds connection.
People feel seen—and curious about how others respond.
2/ 💡It draws out the “wisdom in the room”.
It brings in the group’s experience and sparks peer learning.
3/ 🌟It makes your content relevant.
You can tailor it to what people just shared.
4/ 💪It empowers your group.
People become actively involved, not simply passive listeners.
💡How to use “Ask, Then Tell” in your own sessions
This has become one of my go-to techniques for sparking real-time interaction—especially when energy starts to dip.
And because it’s surprisingly underused, it’s one of the easiest ways to make your sessions stand out.
Here’s your step-by-step:
1/ Warm up your group. Create a warm and inviting atmosphere where people feel safe and motivated to participate.
Tip 👉 Greet your participants by name as they arrive. Drop an easy prompt question in the chat. Get all voices heard.
2/ Survey your group. Before diving into your content start by asking a relevant question to your topic (in a poll or in the chat).
Tip 👉Good “ask” questions are: “What words come to mind when you think of X?”, “What’s your comfort level with Y?”, “What are your biggest challenges?”, “What are your go-to tactics?”
3/ Acknowledge the responses. Your audience is entrusting you with their ideas and challenges. Treat them like gifts to your session.
Tip 👉Narrate the chat. Call out patterns or surprises. And thank people for contributing.
4/ Segue into your content. Use the insights from the audience’s answers to introduce your main content seamlessly.
Tip 👉Start with “I noticed many of you mentioned X”, or “This next tip speaks directly to Y”
5/ Refer back. Continuously tie back to the audience’s earlier contributions throughout the session.
Tip 👉Jot down some notes to help you recall your audience members’ contributions and use names.
💬 Ready to try it?
The next time you teach or facilitate, try starting with “Ask, Then Tell.”
It’s a small shift but it radically increases interaction.
Over to you 🎤
How could you use “Ask, Then Tell” to create more interaction in your sessions?
Hit reply—I’d love to hear your take. 💌
This week’s Facilitator Finds 💪
In this section, you’ll find curated events, resources, tips, and tools that I’ve found super valuable — and I think you will too!
📆 State of Facilitation Report Launch (January 21). Join the SessionLab team for this free live event diving into brand-new data and trends in facilitation. You’ll explore what’s shifting in our field—and how to increase your impact in 2026 and beyond.
📚New Books to Refresh Your Thinking in 2026. Adam Grant just dropped his latest book list, packed with reads on boundaries, well-being, communication, and change. A goldmine of ideas to refresh how you lead, learn, and live.
💌 Thanks for reading The Quest
I always love hearing your feedback and suggestions. Just hit reply to share your thoughts and ideas.
If you were forwarded this email, you can subscribe to The Quest 👉here.
If you enjoy The Quest, I’d appreciate it if you shared it with anyone you think might like it.
Creatively yours,
Whenever you are ready there are 2 more ways I can help you:
👉Custom coaching & team training. Book a free 15-minute zero-commitment call with me to see how I can support you and your team.
👉 Live Session Design Video Course. Live Session Magic gives you a proven system for designing consistently high-quality online sessions. Join the interest list here and be the first to get access.
👉5-week Live Online Course. The Breakthrough Facilitation course gives you tools, personalized feedback, and a proven framework for designing and leading high-engagement live sessions. Join the interest list and be the first to get the next cohort dates and discounts.
