What do you do when you know your participants are going to hate the activity you’ve planned?
I was catching up with my friend Sarah the other night.
Just as we were saying goodbye, she told me she was leading a professional development day the next morning with 50 school principals, VPs, and administrators.
My ears perked up.
“How are you feeling about it?” I asked.
“I can feel the daggers already.”
She was dreading it.
Why?
Because she knew she was going to ask the group to do something well outside their comfort zone. And she knew they weren’t going to like it.
“But I also know it’s important,” she said.
That immediately reminded me of one of the best lessons my facilitation mentor Charlie Murphy taught me:
✨ Embrace the resistance✨
Resistance shows up in all kinds of ways. Maybe you recognize a few of these signs:)
- Silence.
- Eye rolls.
- Folded arms.
- Nervous laughter.
- “Do we really have to do this?”
- Cameras suddenly switching off.
- A breakout room nobody wants to join.
That’s when your default responses can kick in: ignoring it, defending the activity, or just bulldozing ahead.
And if you’ve ever just tried to “push through”, you are definitely not the only one!
But resistance is information.
Sometimes it means: “This is stretching me.”
Sometimes it means: “I don’t understand why we’re doing this.”
And sometimes it means: “I don’t feel comfortable participating this way.”
And the goal isn’t to eliminate resistance.
Your job is to work with it.
I hear you asking, “But Gwyn, how exactly do I do that?”
Here are four simple strategies that my mentor Charlie taught me, that I shared with Sarah – and want to share with you too:
1️⃣ Name it
The simple act of acknowledging discomfort can reduce the tension around it.
Sarah said upfront:
“I know I’m going to ask you to do something that may feel outside your comfort zone.”
You could also say:
👉 “I can sense a little hesitation around this.”
👉 “This next activity might feel like a stretch.”
Naming it says: I see you. And it normalizes resistance that others may be feeling.
2️⃣ Explain it
People are much more willing to try something uncomfortable when they understand why you’re asking.
Sarah told the group:
“Our jobs as administrators require us to leave our comfort zones every day. This is an opportunity to warm up for the school year ahead.”
Connect the activity to the purpose.
(And no need to overexplain. 😅)
3️⃣ Make space for it
Embracing resistance does not mean forcing people through it.
Give people a way in.
You might say:
👉 “Give it a try in whatever way feels manageable.”
👉 “You can speak, add something in chat, or observe the first round.”
Choice helps people stay in the stretch zone without tipping into panic.
4️⃣ Learn from it
Don’t rush past the discomfort once the activity ends. Seize it as a teaching moment to surface deeper learning.
Ask:
👉 “What did you notice about your reaction?”
👉 “What helped you stay with it?”
👉 “Where does this same resistance show up in your work?”
That’s what Sarah did.
Still, some of her colleagues found the activity difficult.
A few, in her words, “hated every minute of it.”
But they also recognized the value.
And their reaction became part of the learning itself.
To the point that, “stepping out of your comfort zone” has become the group’s mantra for the school year ahead.
👆That’s the bit I love.
Because resistance doesn’t automatically mean your activity is wrong.
Sometimes it points straight to where the learning is.
So remember: the next time your group hesitates, goes quiet, or hurls a few daggers your way…
Don’t immediately try to make the resistance disappear.
Get curious about it.
Name it. Explain it. Make space for it. Learn from it.
Over to you 🎤
How could you embrace the resistance in your sessions? Hit reply and let me know!
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